The Hindre™ – Success has a scary saboteur – Part 2 of 3

 School

The Hindre has always been with us. Our memories may be filled with instances where we were the new kid on the block or we tried out for athletic or musical events and the Hindre was a barrier to us. You may recall the guidance counselor who directed you to an occupation that was significantly beneath your skill, talent level and potential.

I have been in classrooms where the Hindre were very active. I could see in the eyes of the some of the students, desperate pleas of “Please get me out of here.” The Hindre caused these students to not ask questions, to even misbehave in class, so that they are not seen as the smart ones. They knew that being labeled smart would open them to all manner of abuse and constant teasing by other students. In private conversations, they were extremely bright, but under achieving in order to blend in with their peers. Teachers are frustrated when they see talented students who will not fully express themselves. The Hindre has intimidated bright students to perform to a level much lower than their aptitude and desire.

The Hindre operates on different levels on all continents. A third grader in the United States stated her desire to be a singer when she grew up. Almost before she could finish a young man shouted, “You can’t sing.” Her shoulders sank and she lowered her eyes. The class looked to me for a response. I turned to the young man and asked, “Have you ever heard her sing?” He lowered his eyes and said no. I asked, “Why then, did you feel the need to tell her she couldn’t sing?” He had no response. I assumed he made the remark thinking others in the class would find it funny and laugh. But he did not receive positive feedback from his classmates. The spirit of the Hindre was alive and well in this classroom. The Hindre can be chased out of the room by a crowd of positive supporters.

During a question and answer session in Lusaka, Zambia, a young man painted a scenario describing his interaction with a Hindre. He wants to succeed and make something of himself, but he had a friend who told him he will never make it, to give up and stop wasting his time. He wanted to know what he should do. I asked how he felt about his friend’s comments. He said he wanted to succeed and make something of himself. We advised him to surround himself with people who thought as he did for strength and support. We recognized the difficult situation with his friend, but he may have to limit his time with the friend, and continue to ignore his remarks. We also assured him that when he became successful the friend would return and take some of the credit for his success. “I knew you could do it. I challenged you to make you stronger.” He will at some point ask him for a small loan and try to take advantage of his success.” The Hindre does not like to lose. They will try to maintain contact with you for additional opportunities to reach their goal.

There are Hindre with a malicious spirit to destroy the bright among us. These individuals did not succeed and want to stop others from reaching their dreams. They terrorize neighborhoods and hold entire communities hostage to their violent and vicious reign of horror. Our youth who want to succeed are at risk around the deadliest Hindre of all, someone who will kill them to stop their development. It is not unusual in large cities for headlines and the evening news to learn about promising young students who lost their lives to senseless violence. They were usually an innocent bystander in a drive by shooting or at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Relationships

The Hindre has been placed in and around relationships to stymie growth and long-term success. They may be the friend who always bring inaccurate news that your mate is not who you think they are. The Hindre constantly sow doubt and suspicion. They convince you to start arguments on meaningless matters, so that there is disharmony in your relationship. They may be secretly jealous of your relationship, but you are not aware of their thoughts.

Secondly, the mate in a relationship may not have confidence in their partner. They become upset when they want to increase their education and improve their economic status. There was a young man who told his fiancé before marriage that he wanted to continue his education. She agreed and immediately became pregnant and had several children over the next few years. When he again approached the idea of getting an education, she said she was nervous and felt he would use his degree to find another woman and leave her and their children.

Friendships are destroyed when the Hindre attempts to discourage a friend from pursuing their dreams. They become possessive and dominant about the time they spend together. “If you were a true friend you would hang with me and forget the foolishness about going away to school.” They use the examples of exceptions, those who played by the rules and did not make it. They disregard those who worked hard and sacrificed and became successful. These examples do not support their case. Additionally, they have negative names for them to prevent you from being one of the potentially fortunate ones. These conversations happen and friends with different interest drift apart.

Artistic people are very sensitive. Creativity is a fragile gift and requires the proper soil to nourish and nurture to maturity. An innovative genius can be seen as a threat to someone with no talent or little talent. These artists require love and trust and are prime targets for the Hindre. Instead of celebrating their gift, they steadily bombard them by comparing them to others who are more talented. They also like to quote statistics about the few that make it and the odds of failure.

The Hindre may be insecure, threatened, jealous, envious, biased, prejudiced or just mean-spirited. They will operate from any of these emotions to undermine your intentions of peers who want to rise above the norm.

Copyright © 2009 Orlando Ceaser

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