Sometimes the best advice you will receive will come directly from you. People value your opinions. You humbly have a cadre of individuals who look to you for advice. These persons are friends, colleagues, class mates and acquaintances. When you listen to your children, you hear a perspective that was shaped by conversations with you. If you analyze their words, you will notice that they were once your words. These words will make you laugh and keep you in check as they remind you of what you said. By placing wisdom in the ears of others, and pay forward, you set yourself up to receive future blessings, as the words come home to roost when you least expect them.
A one year employee, was sent to Headquarters as a Senior Advisor for a Sales Training class of new recruits. His manager felt he would learn as much as he gave to the trainees. His Senior Advisor role was to give them a real world perspective of the Sales Representative position. He performed exceptionally well and was offered a job as full time Sales Trainer. I asked him how he was able to secure the job. He said he remembered my words from his Orientation. I said, “Every interaction is an interview.” He took these words to heart and landed a promotion, because he used them to guide his actions.
Many times, we do not consult ourselves before we make a decision. We go to a mentor and trusted friends and collect a series of suggestions. These are good ideas but since we are ultimately responsible for the decision we should:
- Step outside of our role
- Pretend we are advising a friend, peer or mentor
- Be thorough and thoughtful
- Engage in positive self talk, for it can be beneficial
- Avoid negative self talk, for it can be destructive
We would improve our decision making by listening to our voice of good judgment and experience. Our words represent our core values and the beliefs that define our character. They have been formed by our experiences and the experiences of people we observed and consulted with over the years. Think about this as a strategy, if we listened to the advice we gave to others, we would minimize indiscretions, snap emotional decisions, inappropriate remarks and a lack of discipline. How many times have we told people to?
- Be the best in everything they do
- Count to 10 or 20 before replying to a contentious situation
- Expect the unexpected and prepare for a rainy day
- Follow their dreams
- Follow their gut feelings for they may indicate that something is not what it appears to be and caution is warranted
How many times have you heard that your words or feedback was helpful to someone? The longer you live and the more you help others, this will become a common occurrence. Often when you reflect on your words, you find yourself thinking, “I should have followed that advice in a recent situation. My life would have been a lot better.”
I listened to an old sermon by Bishop T.D. Jakes in which he said he looked at the advice he had been giving and decided he needed someone like himself to help him. He said, he came to the conclusion that, “I need a me.” You need yourself and you should lean on your own understanding in some situations. Please consider the following:
- Create a list of your own quotations or sayings
- Listen to yourself when you talk and take notes
- Review past decisions and consider how you could have handled them differently
- Review current decisions you have to make
- Review some of your major decisions and how you arrived at your actions
Listening to yourself does not stop you from selecting a coach or mentor. You don’t know everything and will always benefit from additional wise counsel. But remember, don’t sell yourself short. You have developed considerable skills over years of experiencing life and helping others. We generally, do not suffer from not knowing what to do. It is listening to ourselves and following through to a decision that is the issue. Listen to yourself. You have so much to offer. Your track record validates your success rate.
Copyright © 2010 Orlando Ceaser