We are super saturated with images of affluence, sensuality and success. Messages are bold and subliminal imploring us to strive for these alleged standards of excellence. Individuals our age or younger are portrayed as rich and beautiful. Some have amassed small fortunes or at least a comfortable living. We take issue with the distribution of rewards and resources. We squander some of our 60,000 thoughts per day wondering, “Why not me?” 

Our mental cup overflows with endless possibilities and scenarios where we are not featured as the lead actor or actress. Surely, we deserve it. After all, we have been told that we are unique. There is no one else like us. We are equally worthy if not more entitled to the finer things in life. We also, live in the United States of America which is the richest country on the planet and the land of opportunity. The question, Why not me? open our minds to the reality that outside of those born into wealth, we can create our own wealth and duplicate their success, but there is a catch. We must duplicate their sacrifice. This means to work hard, delay gratification and acquire the education, connections and mental resolve needed to succeed. It is imperative to create resolutions to guide your journey to self-improvement. 

Why not me? Can sometimes be answered, “Because you have not done what you know to be necessary to succeed.” We are reasonably intelligent people and the secrets of success lies in the biographies read, the lives of successful people featured in human interest news stories and the character traits revealed in the plots in movies about heroes. Many millionaires are first generation wealthy, which means their parents were not rich. Additionally, you must decide what is rich or wealthy to you. Some view wealth as money, while others view it as having friends and family who love and care for them. Some view it as a cause that provides value to others. Whatever, your definition of wealth, you can be wealthy by doing all of the above. 

It is important to honestly evaluate your performance or you will blame other’s success on factors beyond your control. You will give credit to luck, the lottery, genetics, political affiliation and marrying right. The proper perspective will cause you to ask the second power question in earnest, “What if I?

What if I, paid my dues, cultivated the profitable relationships, serviced the needs of others, unselfishly helped people to reach their dreams? What if I followed the directions and instructions of those who followed the right path? What if I, determined my purpose, realized my passion and developed the habits to aggressively pursue my dreams? I know it is critical to learn where and how to meet people and how to treat people. What if I spent 10,000 hours to grow my expertise as Malcolm Gladwell mentioned in his book, The Outliers?  I know what it takes to be a winner. What if I, performed the necessary actions and adopted the mental attitude, lived a life with faith and integrity, fortified with executing the proper strategies and tactics to promote my personal brand?

What if I did all these things, then I would progress boldly with my dreams in sight. You will design resolutions that are more than annual events in futility. You would stand steadfast on the road, knowing that success was assured and ask yourself, the third power question, What else?  

What else? is the trigger phrase. What else is required of you to relieve suffering and make this world a better place? What else can you do to be the best in every key role that you play? What else can you do to give back to your community and help others along the way? What else? is the question that stimulates the mind to look for more, to innovate, to create, to search for new solutions to today problems and the challenges of tomorrow. What else? is also the question to demonstrate the confidence gained during your journey. You may ask the world in a moment of frustration, “What else do you want from me?” You may inquire of your Creator, “What else will you throw at me to test my abilities to fulfill my purpose and my destiny? 

These three power questions in combination form a formidable personal challenge to compel you to a year of powerful resolutions. A resolution can start a revolution, especially if the execution unleashes contributions to improve people and the environment.  

Copyright © 2011 Orlando Ceaser

You may see them everywhere and not realize they have a curable affliction. They are disadvantaged by an invisible ailment that can be reversed and treated without medical or surgical interventions. Unlike other maladies, it is not congenital, contagious or caused by an accident. They have a listening disability.

A listening disability in its simplest and most severe forms does not harm the individual physically, but may affect personal and business relationships and self-confidence. The condition is due to a premeditated lack of concentration or an intentional disregard of the thoughts of the speaker. People are in counseling, frustrated by friends and co-workers, on dysfunctional teams, and in conflict of many kinds because a listening disability is present. 

“Listeningitis” becomes chronic when someone’s interests exceed the interests of others. When we fail to consider that there are other ideas or more than one right answer, we may tune out a speaker with valuable information. Listening problems are seen in all relationships, including families 

The problems with listening disabilities begin before the listener interacts with the speaker. There may be biases that prevent them from being receptive and giving the respect required for an effective conversation. They may feel superior, believing they are better than the speaker because of position, age, economic status, class, race or gender. 

Evidence of Listening disabilities is all around us. The symptoms are: 

1. Physically and mentally disengaged
2.  “Speaker Interuptus” –
3. Celebrity cruising
4. Mouth to mouth combat
5. Predatory listening
6. Pseudo listening 

Physically and mentally disengaged 

This is the classic symptom. People are not paying attention to you when you speak. This is seen in their body language. They have poor eye contact; posture is retreating and their facial expressions signals they would rather be in another location. If you could see their minds, you would notice them wanderings all over the planet. If you look into their eyes you may discern the lost look. Waiting for you to finish so they can speak is a common manifestation. 

“Speaker Interuptus” 

They love to interject comments when you are trying to make a point. At other times, they want to take over the conversation. Sometimes they just want to be involved and feel important. They will often speak at the same time to give a stereophonic effect which is not a harmonious way to conduct a conversation. Dating couples say lovingly, “She completes my sentences.” This can even wear on their nerves over time. Later they can be heard saying, “She won’t let me talk without interrupting me.” 

Celebrity cruising 

We remember conversations with individuals who made us feel we were not important enough. They wanted to speak to someone better. It is amazing to watch people at meetings with the senior member of the company searching the room for someone more on their level. Also, there are the social climbers who look for someone to help their career and they used you as a place holder until someone more desirable arrived. They are searching for the MVP – the more valuable person to advance their personal agenda. 

Mouth to mouth combat 

One of my favorite pet peeves is the person who uses every conversation as a competition. They are constantly battling the speaker and preventing them from establishing their point. This mouth to mouth combat is counterproductive for the speaker and anyone in attendance. The stress level rises and the “I can top your story” attitude is visible and uncomfortable for everyone. 

Predatory listening

The predatory listener views their role as a saboteur. They are probably the most intense listener in the group, except they are listening to catch you in a trap. They look for inconsistencies in your arguments or facts they feel are not true. They are motivated to embarrass you and improve their image. They wait for you to make a point, so they can pounce on it. They want flaws in your arguments, so they can exploit your position. “Gotcha” is their victory cry. Steer clear of these conversation carnivores. 

Pseudo listening (false listening)

There is sometimes a faker in your group. Some people only pretend to be fully engaged in the discussion. Sometimes they are quiet and demonstrating all of the signals of the attentive listener. They appear to be practitioners of active listening. They have mastered the observable physical techniques. Their eyes may be locked on the speaker, but their brain may be on a safari, far away. They forfeited their focus by drifting on to other topics.   

Facing a Listening Disability 

The first step with any disability is acceptance. Secondly, develop a strategy to address the condition. Prior to a listening opportunity you should mentally place the speaker first, give their message priority and plan to listen for agreement or areas of disagreement. It is acceptable to have a difference of opinion. You should care about the speaker or their right to state their opinion. Other points to ensure a successful conversation may involve the following.

1. Be attentive – Be present
   • Physically engage through body language – mentally and physically
   • Use good eye contact, nodding, changes facial expressions, which show engagement  
2. Ask Questions to show interest and understanding
3. Flow with the rhythm of the conversation
   •  Look for natural points of entry to state your opinion
4. Signal your desire to speak
5. Minimize interruptions, especially in the middle of a thought
6. Declare your intentions to improve with a trusted person or mentor
7. Ask for feedback on your participation and progress

Copyright © 2010 Orlando Ceaser

“Inspir-action-al” is a word I coined to mean inspired action. So many times we are inspired by music, motivational speakers, the actions of a hero or scenes and events in Nature. It is important to inspire and be inspired, but occasionally, you want the inspiration to lead to a result. You want to fulfill a promise, achieve a goal and improve circumstances. We seek inspiration in many ways.  We want it in our leaders and from those who are close to us. We can also find inspiration in words. I look at the word HABIT and see an acronym, Has Any One Been Inspired Today. This reminds me of my role in touching the lives of others, so that every day is filled with interactions that purposefully lift people’s spirits.

 A whisperer is someone who whispers or has the ability to connect. Cesar is the host of the popular cable television show Dog Whisperer. This show portrays his uncanny ability to relate to dogs. Jennifer Love-Hewitt is the star of the television program Ghost Whisperer where her character has the ability to speak to ghosts. These spirits have unresolved issues which prevent them from moving on to the afterlife. The whisperer concept has many listings on the Internet, from the movie Horse Whisperers with Robert Redford to cat, sales, success and others who profess an expertise in a given area. 

An Inspiractional Whisperer is therefore someone with insight and expertise in inspiring and motivating people to act and reach a positive result. They are an inspiractional leader, communicator and motivator who channel their gift to elevate performance. In the preface of my book Teach the children to dance are these words. “We are gifted by our Creator with talents and abilities, which make us unique. We are charged with the mission of discovering and cultivating these seeds that God has placed in us.” We are all whisperers in a chosen arena. 

The Inspiractional Whisperer uses their talents to illuminate the lives of others. Their approach may contain several of the steps below. 

1. Inspire
2. Instruct
3. Inquire
4. Inspect 

Inspire 

The Inspiractional Whisperer uplifts your spirits and encourages you and your abilities. They realize that deep inside of you is a boundless treasure trove of unlimited potential. You are God’s child, a child of the universe whose body is a modern marvel, a miracle that defies scientific interpretation. The body is being studied constantly for its ability to heal itself. Scientists are hoping to uncover the secrets contained within our amazing bodies. The answers are within us, waiting for our readiness to conceive, believe, and achieve the discovery. Inspiractional  Whisperers will push you beyond normal levels of exertion because excellence demands more that the average input to gain an above average output. 

Instruct 

There are a series of steps in the procedures to reach your goals. There is the SMART method of goal setting. This method states that each goal must be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound. The road to success in your industry has a proven path that leads you to a level of expertise and excellence required to be the best. You will be led to interview successful people and research historical and present day practices to create your own innovative signature of excellence. 

The Inspiractional Whisperer is a master to the apprentice seeking guidance and mentoring. They are the coach with the right approach, able to transfuse knowledge based on years of experience and observation. They instruct their students to ultimately think on a higher plane.

Inquire

A learner must be able to ask questions of the master. The environment and the relationship between pupil and professor should be such that inquiry occurs without intimidation. It is appropriate for the teacher to ask questions to verify comprehension and retention of the information examined and experienced. This is done by asking questions and requesting an example to prove they understand. This reminds me of the teacher who asked you the meaning of a word and then to use it in a sentence. Gathering and giving feedback is a natural part of inquiry.  

Inspect 

The timeless phrase of “Inspect what you expect,” ensures that you are evaluating execution of plans, programs, processes and principles to validate expectations. The farmer who plants the field watches over it to see it grow according to plan. The crops are fertilized, irrigated, soil samples taken and visually inspected to monitor the right result. The Inspiractional Whisperers gives the kind of attention required to demonstrate their caring and developmental skills.

The Inspiractional Whisperer deals in possibilities. They frequently reside in The “O” Zone as they strive to move people from the ordinary to outstanding performances.  The “O” Zone is the zone of opportunity where you gain the insight to inspire, instruct, inquire and inspect.

The Inspiractional Whisperer is my moniker, what is yours? Where are you acquiring the necessary skills to whisper as you speak to your passion?

Copyright © 2010 Orlando Ceaser

I am fascinated by actors who perform their own stunts in motion pictures. I imagine I am no different from most people. I assumed the actors performed their own death-defying stunts when I was much younger. However, my awareness was peaked during a span of time when I watched interviews with action figures in block buster movies. There was Daniel Craig speaking about the stunts in his latest James Bond movie The Quantum of Solace. Angelina Jolie was shown hanging from a building and on top of a moving car as she performed stunts in the movie Salt. These actors were questioned about going against the conventional practice of deferring to the stunt doubles. They wanted to be more into the character they were playing.

Stunt people also exist in corporations around the world, with or without the knowledge of upper management.  Many companies require stunt people to perform the high wire, public facing acts in their organization. Public Relations, Human Resources and Legal are well-known for keeping the company out of trouble in this capacity. However, there are situations where the organization expects their leaders to perform their own stunts, but the managers are abdicating their responsibilities.  

Many managers do not have challenging scenes in their organization because they shirk their responsibility. One manager had been a District Manager for 4 years and never had a performance problem. He never fired anyone or had a disciplinary problem, which was unusual in his industry. He said it was because he did an excellent job of managing his people. However, he had numerous people who failed to meet their sales objectives.  Apparently, he did not hold them accountable for their lack of results. He exhibited pain avoidance behavior. He did not like confrontation and avoided them at all costs. His kind did not take risks or challenge employees. His supervisor was unwittingly the stunt manager because he protected him from the scrutiny of upper management.

Managers are like actors and may have an aversion to drama or adventure and allow people to get away with actions detrimental to the team and to the organization. An employee may not be pulling their weight or always asks someone else to do the heavy lifting. If the manager is aware of this practice, but does nothing about it, his or her inaction dampens team spirit and reduces productivity. Personally, the manager deprives themselves of the exhilaration of making the tough maneuvers that would help their personal development, the performance of their team and make the job more enjoyable.

Personnel matters are avoided, passed on to another manager or shifted to Human Resources. The other manager or HR becomes their stunt double. Human Resources often play a greater role in disciplining employees, therefore conducting the stunts for the manager. The higher a manager moves in an organization the greater the responsibility to make calls that cannot be delegated to a stunt double.

The stunt manager may be a mentor or coach who performs the actions or consistently provides the answers for the manager. The company has a problem if a situation arises and the mentor, coach or manager always steps in to think for the manager. If they repeatedly bail out the manager by going through the mental gymnastics, while the manager gets the credit and the glory, the organization suffers. 

Additionally, a manager may ask a co-worker to go with them to handle a problem and then insists or allows the co-worker to do the heavy lifting and most of the work. If this occurs in the presence of the manager’s employees and team members, they may lose confidence in the manager’s ability to lead. A worse-case scenario will develop when the team members consult the stunt manager over their regular manager when they have a problem. Employees quickly recognize the deficiency in their leader and go directly to the source for the best guidance and information. 

Companies, by grouping managers in teams, must be careful, otherwise, they will create an imbalance among their leaders. A weak manager can hide and rely too heavily on their strong dominant, more vocal counterpart. This happens on selling teams where one person is disproportionately responsible for driving the sales. A weak link can hide in organizational structure if management does not have a good handle on who is responsible for productivity and talent within the organization. The company needs to assess the ability and performance of all team members, managers included.

Stunt Managers are essential parts of an organization. They may be the unsung heroes that allow the company to reach and exceed the sales projections and profit. If someone is playing that role, they should be identified and rewarded for their contributions. They need to get out of the shadows of the person who is not performing their job and that person should be assigned to a role that best suits their talents.  If the organization expects their leaders to be well-rounded and able to perform all aspects of their jobs, then the stunt manager should focus on doing their own job.

I realize that some stunt managers are performing the role for which they were hired. They were selected to support weak links and hold teams together. If they are functioning in line with corporate expectations, consistent with their hiring agreement, they should accept their role with grace and gratitude.

Copyright © 2010 Orlando Ceaser

Customers are not to be conquered. They are not the enemy. They may be the prize, but your goal is service and collaboration, not conquest. Companies often speak of customer focus, but what they mean is the customer is “in focus” like game to a big game hunter. Sometimes with this mindset, people view their interactions with customers as a competition.   

The customer’s business is needed and sought after for your success. They have the upper hand in any transaction, whether you want to admit or not. Hopefully, they know what they need and require your product or service to meet them. Customers usually have a solution to their problem. They were not waiting for you to surface and show them the light. In most instances, they are satisfied with their solution. Your objective is to show them something vastly superior to their status quo or get them to express dissatisfaction with their current state. You achieve this objective in the sales presentation.

In the sales presentation, you showcase your expertise in product knowledge and customer service. Employees strongly believe their product is superior. You are trained to believe this. You feel that any intelligent and reasonable prospect should jump at the opportunity to buy from you.  Conversely, your prospect is skeptical of your objectivity. During the sales presentation you may encounter resistance. In your exuberance, you run the risk of mismanaging this resistance, and creating conflict.

Customers may challenge your product claims around features and benefits. They may elect to continue with their current product selection or course of action. The skilled sales person is poised, strategic and tactful in mounting their response to resistance. The sales presentation must not become a jousting match and a battle of wills. If you try to demonstrate superiority through sarcasm, impatience, contempt or use of data and technical knowledge, you will fail. If you choose to compete with the potential customer, you will choose to lose. 

You compete with your customers when you,

• View  resistance as rejection and take it personally
• Engage the customer to trap them in intellectual arguments to exploit inconsistencies in their thinking or actions
• Challenge their way of doing business and decision-making
• Appear arrogant in tone of voice and body language
• Fail to listen to their concerns or questions
• Flaunt your product knowledge in a way that does not benefit the customer

I worked with a sales person to sell a physician on using a new product.  The objective was to get the doctor to agree to use the drug on ten patients. The doctor said the drug class did not work on his patient population. After a heated exchange the representative asked if the doctor had ever used the product. “How do you know if this product won’t work on your patient if you have never used it?” This was the representative’s actual response to a legitimate customer objection. Well, the doctor’s demeanor instantly changed. He agreed to place not ten, but twenty patients on the drug. The representative was excited. He was satisfied with his salesmanship, not realizing the doctor would say anything to get rid of him. The result was as I feared; the doctor never placed any patients on the new product.

Signs of losing the customer’s interest

The customer sends clues to let you know when you are competing with them and they are losing interest. A perceptive sales representative will recognize these warning signs. They tell you the customer does not agree with the message and may harbor resistance and reservations. An outside observer, such as a manager, field trainer or coach, can be more objective and spot these signs. The best sales people also have this ability.  The clues are verbal and non-verbal.

• Verbal cues
  • Closed minded and objects to minor aspects of your presentation
  • Overly agreeable, yet wants to postpone making a decision. They will ask for information to review in an attempt to speed up the presentation or to postpone to a later date
  •  
• Non-verbal cues – Body language
  • Folded arms and pulling away
  • Standing up during the presentation
  • Facial expression changes, knits their brow, looks disinterested
  • Impatience and the resistance is sometimes so thick, it is palpable. When the customer loses interest in you, your product is close behind. 

Prospects may ask questions to show their lack of interest in your presentation. Questions that are indicators of the door closing to a sale are;

• “You mean to tell me”
• “What makes you think”  
• “How could you possibly say”

When you adopt an attitude that says someone must win and someone must lose, you may create an adversarial relationship with your potential clients. Additionally, when you take the presentation personally, your ego may get involved and cause you to compete against your client rather than work with them. Remember, your customer has something you want. You do not want to get into a situation where you are debating and competing to win the argument, which causes you to lose access to a customer’s business.

Copyright © 2010 Orlando Ceaser

I was always big on the power of observation. I was the Watcher. As a child, I was the lookout person, whenever we were involved in mischief. Therefore, I saw more bad things than I actually performed. Incidentally, I studied people. Since I was watching them, I developed a sixth sense on how people act, even if I didn’t understand why they responded in a certain way.

In business, I noticed a peculiar phenomenon. People would not call for help immediately when they were in trouble. I would ask them to call me before they got in deep water, but invariably the phone would ring and I would hear their story and blub, blub, blub, blub on the other end of the line. They would not call me until the quicksand or water level was nearly over their head. I asked why they waited. Their responses would usually include a variation of these explanations;

1. They did not want to disturb me because they knew I was busy
2. They thought they could do it on their own
3. They did not want to admit they needed help

I do not mind investing the time to develop someone or to ease their transition into the organization.  Yes, I am busy and their calling me or not will not change by situation. Furthermore there are a lot of people on the planet who have access to my time and my counsel. I am routinely consulted for my opinion. Why shouldn’t they avail themselves of my services? Anyone who is busy knows that a phone call for an important issue is worth the interruption in their schedule.

Secondly, it is sure foolishness, if you need help, to avoid reaching out for assistance. You should not try to accomplish any task or climb any mountain on your own when you are struggling. We are interconnected and interdependent as human beings and need each other to survive. A hefty ego can be an anchor to weigh us down when we need to be buoyant and able to float when necessary. When I arrived at college I was use to studying on my own, because that’s the way we did it in my high school. However, those receiving the better grades in college studied in groups. They would quiz and challenge each other. In brain storming sessions at sales meetings, I noticed the result was better when team members bounced ideas off of each other, in a spirit of collaboration.

Thirdly, everyone needs help at some point in their lives. Successful people would not be where they are today without trusted mentors, teachers, parents, coaches, friends and Good Samaritans to help them along their journey. The most confident person requires help at strategic locations on their journey through life.

Emergency Assistance

When I receive notification of trouble, it falls into one of two categories.

1. A performance problem related to a skill deficiency on the part of the caller
2. A performance problem related to a hostile work environment boarding on harassment  caused by the manager

The person is in a desperate position. They cry out to me as their last hope. They want me to use my influence to repair their damaged career and to make their problems go away. If the problem is a skill deficiency, it is wise to solicit help early in the process. I can make recommendations for additional coaching and mentoring to guide them through the rough waters. People learn at different speeds, so I may be able to advise them on methods to accelerate their learning process.

Performance problems as a result of a hostile work environment are particularly precarious. If people have a legitimate complaint, but wait until they are about to be fired for poor performance, their case loses credibility. An early intervention and discussions with Human Resources, may lead to contacting the proper authorities and gaining the assistance they need, before it is too late.

Management realizes it is not usual for a person failing on the job to blame their manager, when faced with potential termination. This information works to the advantage of a bad manager. And if left unchecked early, the manager will build a case against their direct report and convince their superiors that the employee is incapable of doing the job.  

The moral of the story is, before you are in hot water, call for help immediately, before your situation blossom into a performance problem. It is difficult to intervene on behalf of a struggling employee on the verge of termination. The odds of a successful conclusion to your problems are increased if you call before you fall. Don’t hesitate until it is too late. .

Copyright © 2010 Orlando Ceaser

I was the Product manager for tamoxifen, brand name Nolvadex, the largest selling drug for the treatment of breast cancer. I worked for Stuart Pharmaceuticals. The company was a part of the pioneering effort which led to Breast Cancer Awareness Week which became Breast Cancer Awareness Month. One of the primary messages is “Early detection is the best protection.” Early discovery gave women the best chance of a favorable prognosis.

All of us were exposed to many sayings as we were growing up which if followed, prevented us from getting into trouble. “Honesty is the best policy” would help us avoid lying and telling countless lies to cover-up and make matters worse. “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” gave us wisdom on the simplicity of discipline over the complexity of a full-blown crisis. Many laws, rules and regulations also serve as a means to minimize discomfort and inconvenience.

“Prevention is the best intervention” is a claim that is true in many areas of our lives. We find ourselves in difficult situation knowing we could have avoided them if we acted on our knowledge and instincts. Why deal with headaches, inconvenience, stresses, disappointments, setbacks and unfulfilled expectations if we don’t have to? Rather than nip it in the bud, how can we terminate, before the situation germinates? This beckons us to review our lifestyle and exercise self-control in the most important areas.

I am an exercise enthusiast and you may identify with this thought. Part of my reason for staying in shape, outside of the obvious benefits, is to avoid the pain and agony of getting back into shape. If I can prevent this recurring discomfort, I can reap the benefits and ward off the problems of poor fitness. I must however, follow the guidelines of healthy living.

This process works in business and in relationships. There is a picture I own called The Journey, which I have used for many years. It shows a scene from the early 1900’s. There are many people and many action sequences. All who begin The Journey must pass through the Gateway of Opportunity on the Road to Success. There is a train called The Right System which leads you on a winding track to the top of the mountain to Success. However, along the route there are numerous distractions and diversions, such as, illiteracy, arrogance, weak morals, procrastination, lack of preparation, jealousy, bad business methods, etc. Engaging in the wrong activities may lead you into the River of Failure or a number of unsightly career and relationship ending dilemmas, which could have been prevented.  The picture also displays areas where second chances are earned as people learn their lessons.

People knew the consequences of the character damaging actions that would ruin their reputations, but did them anyway. Knowing your weakness and the areas where you are most vulnerable can help you devise a plan to protect yourself. Some recommend you conduct a personal assessment. The standard SWOT Analysis (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats) can serve as a starting point. You simply write one of these words at the top of a column and list those attributes that personally apply to you. Strengths and Weaknesses refer to you and Opportunities and Threats refer to environment in which you live or work. Remember, the point of greatness vulnerability may not be through your weakness, but through your strength. We are often enamored by our strong points and leave ourselves open to temptation.

You may also want to think about the following:

• Knowledge of your Right System
• The benefits of compliance – if you stay on your path the goals and benefits and many rewards along the way
• Worst case scenarios – a review of the consequences – the impact on self,  family, career and other resources and relationships
• Examples of others who succeeded – showing discipline and resolve
• Examples of those who were not successful and what happened to them – learn from their mistakes – Why do you have to make all of the mistakes yourself?
• An accountability partner – who you can confess to and who can keep you on the right path

Prevention is the best intervention is the ideal situation. Although it may not be possible in your current area of need, it is never too late. If you are already in the throes of a situation, the standard intervention techniques are required to “correct the disconnect” between your current state your expectations. Once the intervention is successful, it becomes the preventative needed to ward off a relapse.

Copyright © 2010 Orlando Ceaser

Sometimes the best advice you will receive will come directly from you. People value your opinions. You humbly have a cadre of individuals who look to you for advice. These persons are friends, colleagues, class mates and acquaintances. When you listen to your children, you hear a perspective that was shaped by conversations with you. If you analyze their words, you will notice that they were once your words. These words will make you laugh and keep you in check as they remind you of what you said. By placing wisdom in the ears of others, and pay forward, you set yourself up to receive future blessings, as the words come home to roost when you least expect them.

A one year employee, was sent to Headquarters as a Senior Advisor for a Sales Training class of new recruits. His manager felt he would learn as much as he gave to the trainees. His Senior Advisor role was to give them a real world perspective of the Sales Representative position. He performed exceptionally well and was offered a job as full time Sales Trainer. I asked him how he was able to secure the job. He said he remembered my words from his Orientation. I said, “Every interaction is an interview.” He took these words to heart and landed a promotion, because he used them to guide his actions.

Many times, we do not consult ourselves before we make a decision. We go to a mentor and trusted friends and collect a series of suggestions. These are good ideas but since we are ultimately responsible for the decision we should:

• Step outside of our role
• Pretend we are advising a friend, peer or mentor
• Be thorough and thoughtful
• Engage in positive self talk, for it can be beneficial
• Avoid negative self talk, for it can be destructive

We would improve our decision making by listening to our voice of good judgment and experience. Our words represent our core values and the beliefs that define our character. They have been formed by our experiences and the experiences of people we observed and consulted with over the years. Think about this as a strategy, if we listened to the advice we gave to others, we would minimize indiscretions, snap emotional decisions, inappropriate remarks and a lack of discipline. How many times have we told people to?

• Be the best in everything they do
• Count to 10 or 20 before replying to a contentious situation
• Expect the unexpected and prepare for a rainy day
• Follow their dreams
• Follow their gut feelings for they may indicate that something is not what it appears to be and caution is warranted

How many times have you heard that your words or feedback was helpful to someone? The longer you live and the more you help others, this will become a common occurrence. Often when you reflect on your words, you find yourself thinking, “I should have followed that advice in a recent situation. My life would have been a lot better.”

I listened to an old sermon by Bishop T.D. Jakes in which he said he looked at the advice he had been giving and decided he needed someone like himself to help him. He said, he came to the conclusion that, “I need a me.” You need yourself and you should lean on your own understanding in some situations. Please consider the following:

• Create a list of your own quotations or sayings
• Listen to yourself when you talk and take notes
• Review past decisions and consider how you could have handled them differently
• Review current decisions you have to make
• Review some of your major decisions and how you arrived at your actions

Listening to yourself does not stop you from selecting a coach or mentor. You don’t know everything and will always benefit from additional wise counsel. But remember, don’t sell yourself short. You have developed considerable skills over years of experiencing life and helping others. We generally, do not suffer from not knowing what to do. It is listening to ourselves and following through to a decision that is the issue. Listen to yourself. You have so much to offer. Your track record validates your success rate.

Copyright © 2010 Orlando Ceaser

The days of delivering a half-hearted effort to gain results have come to an end. The ability to keep a customer based on the strength of your relationship and not the quality of your performance is also over. Average grades in school and on performance reviews, not to mention a lack of commitment in relationships are a liability and should not be tolerated. The demise of mediocrity has been forecast and foretold for a number of years and competition has made it a reality.

There was a veteran sales representative who was losing market share to a relatively new competitive sales person. When the veteran complained to the doctor and asked why the change in prescribing, the doctor replied, “I am using the new product because the representative made a strong case and asked me to use it.” The veteran rep thought his relationship and mediocre service would hold onto the customer’s loyalty.

Some unions are losing their clout because they are protecting employees who are lower performers. Many organizations are moving aggressively to pay based on performance to differentiate the top performers from those on the lower tiers. They want to reward their excellence with higher incentives.

Quality has been the entrance criteria in some businesses, education and relationships for a long time. When there is so much competition, why should the other party settle for less than the best? If you have given less than your best, this is the official wake-up call or call to excellence.

Excellence is the expectation is the title of a poem and song from my book and CD entitled, “Teach the children to dance”. They speak of our obligation to instill excellence into the minds, actions and character of our children. As a global village and marketplace, we will find that many businesses and individuals will drive superiority into their products and services. This will enable them to effectively compete in every endeavor. Excellence becomes a habit when you do the following:

1. Benchmark your quality to the competition
2. Generate new ideas as a common practice
3. Measure what you treasure 

Benchmark

Benchmark or compare your quality against the competition. This involves more than collecting the best practices in your field. If you only collect and implement best practices, you will improve the quality of your operations, but will match the competition, not surpass their excellence. Excellence becomes a moving target. What was viewed as excellence yesterday may not be viewed as excellence today.  You want to be seen as superior, not equivalent in as many areas as possible. This will give you a competitive distinction over your peer group. 

New ideas 

Innovation and renovation are means to strive for excellence. Renovation will get you a reputation as a quality repairman, a great trouble-shooter. It shows that you have the insight and instincts to improve your situation. But the ability to innovate, create and solve problems with new solutions puts you in a league of excellence. Constantly look for ways to do something better. Ask yourself, “What else?” can be done to make this better. This mantra will help you to develop the mindset to constantly seek continuous improvement.

Daniel H. Pink in his book Driven suggests “the secret to high performance and satisfaction at work, at school, and at home – is the deeply human need to direct our own lives to learn and create new things, and to do better by ourselves and our world.” Find ways to incorporate this philosophy into your leadership and work environment.

Measure what you treasure

Consistently revise quality assurance steps to ensure the quality meets your highest expectations. Manufactures institute quality control measures throughout the production process.  Can you do the same to your work practices or personal behaviors to make a similar impression? Borrow another set of eyes and ears to help improve your performance. This may mean having someone else read your paper before you turn it in. Or you may have someone test you by asking questions before your exam. People use to say inspect what you expect or preview and then you review, to ensure you have the excellence you desire.  

Copyright ©2010 Orlando Ceaser

We intuitively attracted to people who are like us. The “birds of a feather flock together”; saying has some validity to it. Additionally, if people are different from us we try to mold people in our own image. You may remember the story of Narcissus. He was a handsome young man who one day fell in love with his own reflection in the river. His preoccupation with his own looks dominated his time and his thinking.  He was so absorbed with himself that he did not respond to a potential romantic interest, Hyacinth, who was a beautiful maiden. 

Hyacinth did all in her power to get his attention but nothing worked. Due to neglect and lack of interest Hyacinth wept and ultimately died of loneliness and a broken heart. The local goddess had pity on her and turned her into a flower. This story cuts to the very core of our vanity and self-centered behavior. If someone looks like us, acts as we do, and share our values, they must be OK because we are OK. If they speak our language and share our interests we are on our way to creating chemistry instead of conflict. 

People like people like themselves. This is fundamental. It is human nature.  This axiom applies to color, culture, background, financial status and other interests and affiliations. We have an affinity for our own image. We are in the cloning business to some degree. We are comfortable with ourselves and anyone like us must be good. We apply this rule every day as if it were an insurance policy. It is apparent in all human encounters and relationships, even during job interviews and performance evaluations. 

Narcissism became clear to me when monitoring the recruitment activity of my sales team. I noticed that each manager was hiring a certain type of sales person. I could meet a new sales person and almost pick the team they were on and their manager. I decided to follow through on a hunch to validate my suspicion. The company administered a personality profile as a part of our recruitment process. Inside the form were two pages. On one side the candidate was asked to select words others used to describe them. On the next page, they were asked to select the words that they felt were true descriptions of their personality. A correlation was made between the two sets of words and a score was generated which was matched to a personality profile.

I asked a group of managers to:

1. Complete a different personality profile on words that described their ideal sales representative
2. Compare it to their personal personality survey taken a month earlier

Needless to say, many of my managers shared the same profile as the person they felt was the ideal candidate. The numerical ratings were the same. My managers were essentially looking for themselves in the recruiting process. 

Another fact of life is that companies have a dominant culture and tend to hire people who reflect their culture, values, and beliefs. Therefore, companies like people who are like most of their employees. People who succeed in these organizations match or confirm to a certain profile. If the companies see the need to diversify for business purposes, they may not create the inclusive culture necessary to capitalize on the benefits of diverse ideas and teams. There is a powerful force bringing people into compliance if they wish to coexist with others within the culture. 

Pursuing employment with a company involves learning the company culture / profile and determines if the company is a good match for you. Are there others like you thriving in the organization or are people who challenge the status quo perennially relegated to the lower rungs of employee development programs?  If the company is what you are looking for, you need to prove that you are like them in values, beliefs and levels of performance. 

Be yourself is a common pearl of wisdom distributed to job seekers. The intent is that we must be true to ourselves in order to deliver your best performance in an interview. Additionally, this increases the chance of enjoying the job when hired. You are an authority, an expert on your strengths and weaknesses.  Relying on reality should improve your ability to present a factual and believable interview and if you decide not to take the job you can be comfortable with the decision. 

Being you in an interview is valuable when interviewing with the right company. A company that has the right environment will enable people like you to grow and flourish. Many of us have had to be someone else in an interview to get the job. “Give them what they want to see and say what they want to hear has been our mode of operation.” However, there is pressure in maintaining the masquerade.  The charade requires an enormous amount of energy and can place you under tremendous stress. The constant fear of discovery or the reality of living a lie, gradually takes its toll.

Remember, Narcissism exists in people and in companies, through their culture. Do not be discouraged if it seems that you outwardly do not match the company or the individuals on staff. You may have to walk away from the opportunity.  Sometimes a job is so great that you are willing to gamble, hoping that it will become the right fit. Understand the risks involved. Strategies can be developed to show affiliation on some level. Preparation is the key. Research is mandatory. If you cannot be a clone, you may have to leave the job alone and find an acceptable match if not your perfect job.

Copyright © 2010 Orlando Ceaser