5 Self Restraining Tendencies (SRT’s) That Can Hurt You

January 8, 2016 ~ Orlando Ceaser

We are human and therefore, have idiosyncrasies, nuances and eccentricities that come with our personalities. Many of these unique characteristics position us for survival and success. But some of these peculiarities are counterproductive and are detrimental to our growth. I will call them self restraining tendencies or SRT’s. They are not necessarily life-threatening, but they may serve as impediments to development.

SRT’s are indigenous to human beings. They may be formed by life experiences and thoughts and subsequently create insecurities. They may be pseudo-defense mechanisms to allegedly protect us. SRT’s may be categorized as bad habits that may hold us back, restrict growth or work against us. How do we know we have them? Self assessments and times of reflection can increase self awareness and reveal SRT’s, as we examine our lives and impact on others. Additionally, we may receive the gift of honesty from a friend through candid comments. Constant feedback from co-workers, parents and peers can also be useful by adding to our enlightenment. But, we must be objective, receptive and appreciative of their candor.

5 Self Restraining Tendencies (SRT’s)

Procrastination
Poor communication skills
Negativity mindset
Toxic people skills
Lack of Integrity

1. Procrastination

It is interesting to learn that many people are struggling with procrastination. The act of postponing things until later is not intellectually difficult for people to understand. They know that something should be done immediately and to postpone will have consequences. But, nevertheless, they still will delay until later, that which should be done today.

We recognize that we may not feel like doing something right now or we have awarded a greater priority to something else. If we continue to kick the can down the road or delay the inevitable, we will continue to waste time and effort and increase the amount of stress in our lives.

Lisa was interviewing for a job as a pharmaceutical sales representative. She felt very comfortable with the interview. The interviewer asked her about her number one shortcoming. She responded, “I am a procrastinator. I get things done, but sometimes it takes me a while to get started.” Procrastination was her Self Restraining Tendency, but the interview may not be the right place to disclose this particular self restraining tendency.

2. Poor communication skills

Communicating is something we do every day. It is the currency by which we interact with people in order to state our ideas, convey instructions and build relationships. Those among us, who communicate effectively, actually have an advantage at school, in our careers and in relationships. If we are hampered by poor communication skills, our effectiveness is restricted. This self restraining tendency, like the others featured in this article, must be identified and corrected.

Poor communication skills could be non verbal or verbal to include written, body language and group presentations. Ask yourself, “Am I plagued by poor communication skills? Are there aspects of my communication ability that are hindering my progress?” Conduct a self-assessment. Diagnose your communication ability to see if there is a deficiency. You may seek to solicit feedback from respected sources and trusted friends and colleagues to see if they can identify areas that require improvement. When the SRT is disclosed, a change management process should be initiated. However, rather than go through multiple steps to change we should go directly from denial to acceptance and put a plan in place to correct the SRT.

3. Negativity Mindset

People who have a negativity mindset are not necessarily the individuals who look at the pros and cons of every situation. I am speaking of the people who like to rain on the parade. When the entire group has decided to move in a positive direction, they are the naysayers who constantly focus on what is or could go wrong. They provide excuses rather than explanations. They seldom do anything but complain without the slightest contribution to positive constructive participation to change anything.

4. Toxic people skills

The toxic people SRT is different from the poor communication skills mentioned earlier. Individuals prone to this tendency will use power to humiliate and intimidate in order to gain the upper hand or to create an environment of fear.

My son worked for an organization where the new boss actually said, “When I walk into a room I want people to fear me.” He wanted people to be intimidated by his presence. This attitude is supported by language and interactions that cause stress, a lack of trust, poor engagement and ultimately subpar performance. Individuals with toxic people skills may speak about people behind their backs, pit coworkers against each other and generate an atmosphere of tension.

People with toxic people skills may be cursed with the propensity to enter every interaction with a transaction mindset. They are constantly thinking what is in it for them, how can they beat the other person by any means necessary and how it can only help them succeed. This is prevalent in relationships where they only socialize or interact with people who can help them advance their position, today.

5. Lack of Integrity

People with a lack of integrity are flawed in their relational and work performance. They utilize a winning at all cost or any cost approach to work and relationships. People with this tendency view the rules as an inconvenience, something for weak minded people, to be broken and circumvented whenever possible. Breaking rules is seen as a badge of honor, a necessary evil to give themselves the ultimate advantage toward victory.

Invariably, this SRT will cause the downfall of their career and reputation. Oftentimes, the integrity flaw does not manifest itself until well into a person’s career. Please find below a chart illustrating a natural career growth curve and the various points of indiscretion where a lack of integrity can doom a person’s career.

If a lack of integrity shows itself at the end of someone’s career, a lot of their positive contributions can be discounted and shrouded in suspicion, nullifying their reputation. If a lack of integrity revealed itself early in someone’s career, they may never have the opportunity to make significant positive contributions or to realize the potential present in their talents and abilities.

Ideally, we should establish self restraining orders or SROs for those character traits which are limiting our joy and effectiveness. The five self restraining tendencies listed or others should be addressed if they are a problem for you. They have the capacity to limit your effectiveness and keep you away from realizing your full potential in every segment of your life.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer – Lessons in Handling Differences

December 23, 2015 ~ Orlando Ceaser

We are often started with the commercialization of Christmas. We are reminded to not lose sight of the reason for the season. This is valuable advice for Christians and others during this reverent time of year.

We grew up with Gene Autry Christmas classic of Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. It is a delightful song, but also delivers a powerful message about encountering and handling differences. This song could start meaningful conversations about accepting others.

The song begins with a reference to the reindeer popularized in Clement Clarke Moore’s, “The night before Christmas”, also known as “A visit from St. Nicholas.” It begins with a roll call of Santa Claus’ reindeer that of course omits the name of Rudolph. As you recall, Rudolph was different from the other reindeer because of the luminescent quality of his nose. His nose was so shiny that it had either reflective qualities or it glowed like a light. This was enough to make him the object of ridicule and ultimately ostracism by the other reindeer.

This lack of acceptance is seen when children and adults are confronted with someone who is different from them. Our initial response is to make fun of the person and then to isolate them because of their characteristics, traits, heredity or idiosyncrasies. Many of us recall when we were young and begged for approval. Even to this day, there is something about us that makes us stand out from the crowd and the crowd lets us know it.

At work or is school, simply being the new person, the new kid on the block, the person who is an unknown, becomes a source for teasing or isolation. We often wondered,” if they would only get to know me, they would see that I’m just like them. “Rudolph was a reindeer, so he surely had a similar appearance, except for his nasal peculiarity. But suppose he was of a different color, from a different region of the country or had a different ability. He would have manifested a difference that would have caused him difficulty until he was accepted. We usually ask the different party to fit in, when the real focus should be on them being accepted by the group.

Bullying is also a response shown toward those who are different. The song the does not indicate that Rudolph was bullied, but we can only assume that preventing him from “playing in any reindeer games” was not always accomplished in the most delicate manner.

The song does not tell us what Santa Claus was doing during the hazing or if he even knew about it. But, as a good leader, he engineered a very strategic response. He knew the talent and value of all of his reindeer. He evaluated the weather system for his next journey and realized he was going to encounter numerous blizzards. He knew that the solution to his problem existed among the ranks of his reindeer. He knew he had one reindeer that could help navigate the wintry delivery of toys to boys and girls around the world. This opportunity would be well received it if every reindeer benefited from his gift.

We can give Santa credit for waiting for the appropriate time to unveil strategy. He could have given the reindeer the opportunity to work it out amongst themselves, as so many people do in similar situations. They say such things as,” kids are just being kids, learning to navigate difficult situations will only make the recipient stronger and teach them valuable life skills and that which does not kill them will make them stronger, to paraphrase Friedrich Nietzsche the philosopher. Maybe the reindeer performed similar initiation rites to others in the group that had other distinctions from their peers. Maybe they solve their treatment of Rudolph as being harmless and natural.

The defining moment came,” one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say: Rudolph with your nose so bright, won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?” Many managers, leaders and parents look for the opportune moment to use the skills of their people. The right moment to show the world and the individual, that they recognize their true value and wish to share this value with every member on the team. We can only assume that in the fictitious conversation, Santa’s encouraged Rudolph and told him about the value of his difference. He made him feel that he was something special and should never feel that he was not important and did not have a place. I’m sure he made him feel like an important member of the team. He validated his value by asking him to lead the team by moving up to the front of the line.

You remember the happy ending to the song. “Then all the reindeer loved him, as they shouted out with glee, Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, you’ll go down in history! We know that in real life, responses to differences may not always lead to a happy ending. Sometimes the individuals have lingering insecurity, damage to their self-esteem and underlying resentment from the initial exclusion. But, so often when the difference that is ridiculed or denied is used for the benefit of the group, the organization, institution, group or community becomes stronger. The people learn a valuable lesson about inclusion. We are hopeful that when the person is accepted they don’t become complicit and act in the same manner when they encounter other people who are different.

If we remember the Rudolph days of our lives and commit ourselves to prevent them from happening to others, we will maximize their future contributions to our teams, families, organizations and communities. We will perform a noble act when leading by example with the lessons learned from Rudolph the red-nose reindeer.

Please look forward to reading more about differences in my new book due by June 2016, Unlock Your Diversity Greatness. It is based on the premise that your uniqueness is not a weakness and contains strategies to utilize your talents, skills and abilities. More books in the Unlock Your Leadership Greatness series can be found at www.OrlandoCeaser.com or www.amazon.com.

Communication Excellence – A Competitive Advantage

July 15, 2015 ~ Orlando Ceaser

We should help our young people become better communicators as a part of their educational development, while helping ourselves improve in this area. This should begin in our homes, and shift to the schools, work, community, places of worship and other organizations.

There are statistics that indicate that 85% of success will be attributed to communication skills. Correct speech builds confidence and youth won’t feel self-conscious in the presence of individuals with strong verbal skills. Leadership qualities blossom in the portfolio of a strong communicator. If communication skills are solid, youth can concentrate on the content of their conversations, articulating their dreams and the ideas they want to present. If communication skills are solid, adults can broaden their career opportunities.

Improving communication skills is a phenomenal benefit and competitive advantage. Improved speech at an early age actually making life easier for everyone. Students don’t have to think as much about choosing the right words for speaking clearly will come naturally for them. It is easier to have excellent speech and shift to colloquialisms, then to always speak in colloquialisms and try to shift to excellent speech.

People will jump to conclusions, make snap judgments and make decisions about someone based on their speech. They will rightfully or wrongfully gauge intellect, display bias about where someone were born and raised, gauge economic status, and achievement potential. Companies will hire, promote or allow employees to speak for the company in a meeting or to the media, based on their ability to communicate. These subjective and objective reactions may not be fair, but are indicative of the power of communication skills.

People are resistant to broach the subject of speech correction. This tendency has to change, so that we can radically assist our youth on their path to excellence. I don’t know if this reluctance is due to a lack of confidence, individuals discomfort and knowledge about what is correct speech or if they feel it is not important enough to address. Clearly the data suggests that communication is an area where improvement could be emotionally and financially beneficial.

There are several skill areas essential to master. They are conversations, group presentations, punctuation and written communications. As youth grow older they will get into the intricacies of verbal and non-verbal indication (body language). Mastering these areas will contribute to other parts of their intellectual endeavor such as improving math, science and reading skills. Focusing on these areas early in life will help children form habits that will make communicating easier.

More people should pay attention to individuals whose professions rely on effective speaking. If children use them as a mirror, they could elevate the quality of their communications. Youth would make their career choices and competitively pursue more promotional opportunities. Adults will grow in confidence, credibility and grow in their organizations as communication excellence contributes to their leadership abilities.

Athletes are a prime example of individuals receiving different careers options because of their competence in communicating. Effective communications through their fluid speaking ability could lead to a career in broadcasting. Here are a few examples of athletes who combined athletic excellence with effective communication skills to add another source of income and another career.

Michael Jordan as a pitchman for several products
Michael Strahan, a professional football player who became a sports announcer. His personality and communication skills enabled him to be a co-host on a talk show and opened the doors for numerous commercials
The Rock, a famous actor, at one point in his career was a college football champion and a professional wrestler. His personality and indication skills enabled him to take on many roles due to his ability to communicate.

We should be impressed by people who immigrate to another country unable to speak the language. Many come to the United States and assume English as their second language. Many of the older generation would listen to the radio and watch television, using these as venues to practice and learn English. I admired their persistence and dedication and the quality of their speech after working tirelessly to master the language. We would use them as motivation to improve communication skills.

What is wrong with communication excellence?

Some people feel it is the duty to attack communication excellence. Youth should beware of people who ridicule them because of their dedication to speak a language in the way it was designed to be spoken. Speaking right should not be given a derogatory label. Youth should not have to fight for their freedom to pursue excellence in speech. Youth should not apologize for achievement (excellence does not deserve sympathy or ridicule). Unlocking their leadership greatness will give them the necessary perspective, drive and credibility to lead their peers to share their commitment to excellence.

Effective communication should be seen as a vehicle to achieve goals and fulfill dreams. Achieving their dreams is the objective for youth and adults. Being able to communicate at a high level will work to their advantage. It is therefore, helpful to emulate the articulation of professional communicators, i.e. teachers, actors, newscasters, television and radio personalities, lawyers, spokespersons and politicians to help improve communication skills. There is also value in joining speaking organizations such as Toastmasters International to gain real world speaking experience and coaching in a nurturing environment. Additionally, Local schools and junior colleges also have speech classes which can help students and aspiring professionals.

As adults, we should not abandon the practice of improving our speech. It is never too late to speak better. We will serve as a model for people who watch and listen to us. Diligence in communication can have a powerful effect on the job. People in leadership position will select people they feel have the power to communicate corporate messages to employees. We noted that statistics have indicated that 85% of the skills necessary to be promoted on the job are related to your communication skills. This statistic alone underscores the importance of communicating with excellence and its value as a competitive advantage.

6 Personalities on the Path to Progress

September 19, 2014 ~ Orlando Ceaser

You will encounter a variety of people along the path to progress. There are a number of personalities on your journey willing to provide assistance or to be an impediment to you. Six profiles are highlighted based on personal and group observations. They are the relaters, waiters, haters, traitors, debaters and spectators. No one is exclusively one profile all the time. You may vacillate among the characteristics depending on the situation and the people involved. It is important to identify these personalities in order to enlist their assistance or to avoid their negative attacks on your well-being and your ability to achieve outstanding results.

Relaters

These individuals relate to your dreams, goals and aspirations. They are in sync with your mission to succeed. There is a connection, commitment and compatibility with your dream. They relate positively to your intentions and seeking the best for you. They are on the sidelines and in the game as supporters, cheerleaders and advocates. It warms your heart to look in your corner and see relaters wanting you to make it.

Waiters / Waitresses

Waiters and waitresses have ‘. They are not individuals hired by you, but people who voluntarily serve you on your journey. They are your friend, parents, teachers, coaches, mentors and positive peers. They may be anonymous or strangers say a kind word or perform a good deed. These individuals derive satisfaction from being of service to and being a part of the delegation responsible for your achievements.

I ran the Chicago Marathon twice and the streets were lined with people with signs encouraging the runners. They screamed out the numbers of the runners and some of them provided us with water and beverages. You may recall a waiter or waitress who gave you outstanding service. They asked poignant questions in order to serve you better. They went out of their way to make your visit an enjoyable and memorable experience.

Haters

You may have come in contact with these individuals. They are outwardly against you. They may be jealous, insecure or just plain malicious in their attitude toward you. You may not have done anything against these people, but they see you and immediately resent you and your accomplishments. Haters are committed to bringing you down. They celebrate and laugh when you stumble. They have the resentment to match your contentment and find great satisfaction whenever you experience difficulties. Haters are prone to go to great lengths to place barriers in front of you and to turn people against you. They are constantly questioning your motives, while developing conspiracy theories to discredit your work.

Haters are very dangerous because of their capacity to spread malicious lies, rumors while attacking your reputation. Their outward expression of contempt may not be to your face, but many people will be exposed to their feelings.

Traitors

Traitors may get very close to you and win your confidence. You may trust them only to find out that they were false friends. They will work inwardly to unravel and discredit your progress to success. They will secretly try to undermine your efforts and tell people about your innermost secrets and weaknesses. Traitors may start out as relaters, but somewhere along the way they turn against you. Hopefully you will find out soon enough that they cannot be trusted. They are back biters and back stabbers. They may be passive aggressive, sneaky and secretive. Traitors may ruin your reputation by selling your secrets to the highest bidder.

Because traitors are believed to be your friends, their words ring with truth and credibility to an unsuspecting audience. Traitors will break your heart because of their proximity to your inner circle. They are on the inside and privy to your thoughts, feelings and actions.

Debaters

While you are committed to your journey, you will find a number of people challenging you every step of the way. They try to talk you out of success. They will question your sacrifice and try to discourage you from wasting your time. They will give you countless counter arguments and examples of others who failed through no fault of their own. They will persistently challenge the value of your dreams and the foolishness of your work ethic. Debaters will make you question your intelligence and qualifications for your objectives.

Debaters, however, can strengthen your resolve and survival skills. When you successfully counter their arguments, you will be stronger against other opponents. They actually prepare you for meaningful discourse with the conscientious objectors who are against your desire to be successful.

Spectators

In many respects your journey to succeed is a competitive event. There are spectators who are on the roadway in the field. There are other individuals who are in the stands watching the game. They do not get involved in the activities. They may cheer, but the cheers may not be for you. You may see the spectators in the stands, but you do not know their allegiance. You just know that they are present. They do not personally give you words of encouragement, as is the case with relaters and the waiters. You may not know if they are against you like the haters, debaters and the traitors.

Haters and traitors are potentially destructive. You need to find out who they are and develop strategies, structures and individuals to shield you from their insecurities. Haters and traitors attack you from different positions. Haters are outwardly against you. Traitors are inwardly against you. They gained your confidence and many times, you were unaware of their insidious nature.

Some debaters are convinced they are trying to protect you by talking you out of your dream. They may feel the dream is too dangerous and you may be hurt and they want to spare you the grief and humiliation associated with failing. However, many debaters are insecure and don’t want you to succeed because they will take it personally. If you succeed and they do not, they will see themselves as failures.

The spectators may be harmless, but they should be more than a witness along your path to progress. Spectators should get involved in the game and become relaters and waiters to support your cause. It is wonderful when spectators decide to be a part of the success of others. This service to others could be a major personal development growth opportunity on their path to becoming a leader.

These six personalities are present any time you try to accomplish something. They are the people you meet along the path to progress. The supportive personalities such as the relaters and waiters are essential to give you the moral support and technical proficiency, you need to succeed. Words of encouragement and acts of kindness from these individuals are instrumental in giving you the confidence and competence to achieve your goals.

6 Ways to Cope with Irreconcilable Differences at Work

April 1, 2014 ~ Orlando Ceaser

There are relationships where both parties decide that it is pointless to continue. They do not and probably will not ever understand each other. They are constantly in a state of disagreement whether verbalized or not. Some type of discontinuance, whether separation or divorce is contemplated to dissolve their partnership. They have reached the boiling point of irreconcilable differences.

There are similar circumstances on the job. There is a cold, but cordial work environment. The job may even be hostile, intimidating and dead end without opportunities for advancement. People cannot get along with their coworkers or their supervisor. The tension in the air becomes unbearable but resignation is out of the question. Quitting for a variety of reasons would not be in their best interests. The economy is treacherous and finding a new job is risky. They have a family to feed and financial obligations.

Let’s bring the situation closer to home and make it more relevant. Your manager may be a jerk. She is making life unbearable. She cannot get rid of you because you are doing your job and have not broken any laws. She would rather have her person working in your position. She cannot remove you for fear of a lawsuit.
Additionally, you may have a skill set that the organization values and the manager cannot afford to get rid of you, but you no longer find the job challenging. You want to be promoted to another position, but they cannot see you doing any job other than your current assignment. You are stuck in corporate cement as opposed to career quick sand.
You are at an impasse. You can’t live with her and you can’t live without her. You have to cope with irreconcilable differences.

A manager for a small company inherited an employee who was a powerful, persuasive salesperson, but ultimately could be a liability to the organization. Management loved this individual and viewed him as a sales representative for life. However, the sales person had aspirations to be promoted. The more he was held to corporate standards, the more frustrated he became. One day in frustration, he stood up in a restaurant, pointed his finger at his boss and said these words; “I understand that you don’t like me and have never liked. If it was up to you I would’ve never been hired. If we can’t get along, we might as well get it on” (a reference to physical confrontation). The rep was at his wits end and surely felt he was coping with irreconcilable differences.

How do you cope with irreconcilable differences, when you cannot walk away from the job? What do you do when you have no place to go and are unable to leave your position? You must first acknowledge that the situation is toxic. A negative state of mind could damage your health and other areas of your life. Conduct an accurate assessment of your performance and career aspirations. Recognize that you may have played a small role in the bad relationship. The six tactics below may help you cope with irreconcilable differences at work. You may wish to debate these suggestions with co-workers and friends in order to arrive at a strategy that will work for you.

1. Make the most of the situation
2. Work hard and try to get transferred?
3. Work hard and try to get your boss transferred?
4. Seek counseling through the Human Resources Department
5. Recruit advocates – mentors, coaches or allies
6. Schedule a meeting with your boss

Make the most of the situation

This is generally seen as a grin and bears it approach. This does not necessarily mean for you to suffer in silence. You may look on the brighter side of things, such as being grateful that you have a job. You may display a positive attitude and devote yourself to the quality and quantity of work needed to excel. Through this entire process you must throw yourself into doing your best work, although you may not be fully engaged.

Beware of persistent anger. If you are constantly angry, you may develop ulcers, headaches and an overall feeling of grumpiness at work and at home. People around you will suffer with you; work performance will be stunted by your low level of engagement, because you are not happy. You can be patient and tolerate your plight. Your boss may leave the department through resignation, termination or promotion.

Work hard and try to get transferred

People have been known to put their nose and shoulder to the grindstone in hopes of working their way out of their circumstances. The prevailing philosophy is to work as hard as you can and be rewarded for your diligence and discipline. This strategy can work, unless your manager is working to undermine and missed represent your effectiveness. You can be driven to succeed, even in a toxic environment when you are growing your skills and working toward a goal.

Another manager, through networking with other departments, may request your services. They may become aware of new skills you required. Obtaining additional education and training may work in your favor and increase your value in the eyes of others.

Work hard and try to get your boss transferred

The same methods used above may catapult your manager into a new position. You may breathe a sigh of relief, but if the underlying problems have not been solved, this individual can harm your career aspirations from a distance. If there are misunderstandings that need to be addressed, you may have to face them courageously alone or have a trusted mentor intercede on your behalf. It may seem insincere, but you may have to act as if things are not as bad as they are, in order to survive. You may have to use your acting skills to minimize friction and give the illusion of a harmonious working relationship.

Seek counseling through Human Resources

Many people are reluctant to go to the Human Resources Department to complain about their manager or the environment on their team. They fear HR is working as the right arm of leadership and will sabotage their employment. Some companies have an Ombudsman who is present to hear employee complaints, which makes disclosure easier. If individual courage is viewed as foolhardy, the power of a group may be necessary to add additional credibility to your complaints. This is often the last resort when the person feels they cannot take it any longer; when the benefit outweighs the risks.

You have heard manager say,” you don’t have to like me or love me, but you must get the job done.” The same applies. Your manager or coworkers do not have to like you or love you but they must respect you, as you get the job done.

Recruit advocates – mentors, coaches or allies

You may have a mentor, coach or ally on speed dial or retainer to help you plan your strategy for coping with a manager who is out of control. They can advise you on the next steps take in dealing with your predicament. If the manager goes beyond acceptable rules and regulations, they can advise you on the approach to HR. They may also be helpful in calming you down and allowing you to see your role in any of the difficulties. It is always good to have consultants to bounce ideas off of to learn from their seasoned perspective.
You may have a trusted friend in higher places who can hear your tales of woe and help craft a strategy to make your life easier. They may talk to the guilty offending party or help you get reassigned.

Schedule a meeting with your boss

You can call a meeting to discuss your feelings and job performance. This will enable you to clear the air of all misunderstandings, so that your boss knows how you feel. Ask for their assistance in helping you achieve your goals for the betterment of the organization. Solicit feedback on the things you can do better to help them in their job.

If you try this approach before and it did not work, be careful. If you heard others try the same tactic and suffered, scratch this suggestion from your list.
A good leader would take your information and check the perceptions of others in your group. The appropriate corrective actions will strengthen the leader’s ability to achieve personal and team objectives.

It is important to strengthen the relationships with people at work. Invariably, difficult relationships will exist in the workplace. You may have to address the problem head-on, because walking away may not be an option. As uncomfortable as it may seem, coping with irreconcilable differences may be the only course of action.

Achieve the dream – Unlock your leadership greatness

January 16, 2014 ~ Orlando Ceaser

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was as a civil rights leader. He was an activist who had a powerful transformative dream, which galvanized a movement and a nation toward positive change. Each year on the anniversary of his birth I listen to a recording of his greatest speeches. During his “I have a dream” speech, I clearly see the role that everyone can play. Dr. King emphasized a compelling vision of the future which will require leadership at many levels in society, to bring it into fruition.

A leader is characterized as someone who has a vision for the future which excites people to the extent that they want to be a part of the new reality. Dr. King in his speeches and his actions, challenged us in at least four areas. He wanted us to achieve excellence, focus on economics and equality, as well as improve our circumstances and relationships, through education and nonviolence.

Dr. King’s dream should be placed in the context of a vision for a better nation and a better world. We will achieve this dream and many others through leadership. We therefore, must play a major role in develop strategies and plans to reach lofty objectives. We must unlock our leadership greatness, in order to make the dream a reality.
I have determined at least 10 attributes which would be instrumental in helping us to unlock our leadership greatness, to achieve the dream. I will address six of them in this blog. The entire 10 will be present in my new book “Unlock your leadership greatness.”

• Powered by a dream
• Student of the game
• Set high standards
• Lead by example
• Make others better
• Serve others

Powered by a dream

You must be powered by a dream, which gives you direction and a destination. I have already mentioned the importance of the dream and what this vision could do to energize people. The dream gives us purpose and passion and a strong reason to succeed.

Student of the game

We have to be students of the game, to gain a better understanding of the rules and regulations, as well as the instructions on how to live and relate to people who are different from us. When we understand the game, we increase our self-awareness and knowledge of people and their differences and similarities. When we act like a student, we are inquisitive and continuous learners, always focusing on education. We realize that education is internal and therefore, it is something that people cannot take away from us. Education is something that allows us to qualify for opportunities and if these opportunities are not granted, we have the knowledge and wisdom to make a case for demanding equality and justice.

Sets high standards

When we unlock our leadership greatness, we set high standards because we recognize the value of setting a high bar to push ourselves to unbelievable heights of achievement. We will not tolerate something that is less than what we believe we are entitled. The high standards will cause us to reach higher and prepare better. The high standards will demand us to act in a way consistent with our self-image.

Lead by example

We understand the value of image. We know that reputation is a powerful motivator. When we lead by example, others will follow us and hold us accountable to ensure that our actions are in alignment with our vocabulary. When we lead by example we have the power and capacity to attract others to our leadership. We will recruit people one by one in our passionate pursuit to improve the world.

Make others better

Through our actions we engage in activities where we received a personal benefit. Customarily, we asked the question, “What’s in it for me?” The personal benefit is a driver for our behavior. Individuals, who operate at a higher level, realize that if they make others better, they will receive a benefit in the short-term or somewhere down the road. The benefits are not the reason for their actions, but are coincidentally, a byproduct of their generosity. Dr. King and his leadership, was known for mentoring young men and women. He practiced the art of making others better. If we are good in a certain skill area (subject) and have a neighbor who is not, we are to help them become better. They need to get to a competency level which will allow them to be successful. If they are good in the area where we are deficient, we need to be open and receptive to their instruction. There is strength in numbers and we should never try to tackle difficult situations on our own. When we make others better, at some point in our lives, we will receive appreciation to enhance our situation.

Serve others

We recognize that we are not here solely for our own purpose. When we were children, there were two axioms that were emphasized with regularity. The first is the golden rule. We should do unto others as we want them to do unto us. Secondly, we were told to walk a mile in someone’s shoes, to get a better understanding of their character and the circumstances that shaped them. When we unlock our leadership greatness, we are immersed in a desire to serve others. We have learned the power of humility and being connected in an inter-dependent manner to those around us.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. placed a major emphasis on economics, excellence, equality and education. These areas would be highlighted in the achievement of his dream. One of the catalysts to making his dream a reality are individuals committed to his dream who have unlocked their leadership greatness.

Are you Customer Servant or Overhead?

November 21, 2013 ~ Orlando Ceaser

I was talking to my son Brian the other day about the company he works for and the challenges he faces in selling their products. Part of their justification for pricing is linked to their ability to provide customer service. Other companies can offer lower prices, but if something goes wrong or if they have any questions they have a live person to assist you. The competition’s justification for pricing is the fact that they can sell products at a lower price because they don’t have the same overhead costs.

Built into the customer service logic is the belief that people will pay more for a product if the value in the long run makes it worth their while. If it saves time, aggravation, cost down the road and gives them peace of mind, it is a worthwhile investment.

How are you perceived at work? How do you view yourself? How do you rate in the minds of the competition? Are you a customer servant providing value for the job you occupy? Are you just overhead, the interchangeable vulnerable cost of doing business?

If you are a customer servant, people love to have you around. You have done your homework and are prepared to give them valid answers to their questions. You anticipate their needs and lay the foundation for making their job easier. People consult with you often because they know they can count on you, almost as a concierge would make valid recommendations. They know you are there for them and will recommend you and your company, because of how well they were treated. You are a GPS that knows where they are in their thinking and in their business.

If your company, customers or competitors see you as overhead, it is safe to say that your days are numbered. When the company sees you as an added expense, it is only a matter of time, in this cost-cutting era for them to find a way to outsource or eliminate your role.

If your customer sees you as overhead, they will not display the loyalty required for you to sustain profitability. Frequent purchases or repeat is questionable. They will very easily be swayed to another product or service whenever they have a choice. Customers realize that it is a buyer’s market and there are other companies courting them for their business. They do not have to accept shoddy treatment and less than the best behavior from anyone. They want enthusiastic customer servants who are thankful for their business. They want the interaction to be a pleasant experience that satisfies their needs.

Many customers have heard the old adage, “you can tell how a company treats their employees by how their employees treat their customers. If your behavior is not indicative of how your company wants to treat customers, your company can not afford to have you work for them. Your behavior is giving them a bad name. It is about company refutation and image and if you are out of line, you will be left behind.

If your competitors see you as overhead, they will work relentlessly to put you out of business. They will be more confident and aggressive in their interactions with your customers and will capitalize on the customer’s perception of you. They will be as a shark when they see blood in the water. The competition will constantly go for your jugular and exploit the fact that you are not honoring your promises or treating the customer with quality service which includes dignity and respect. The competition is already formidable in many markets. You don’t want to give them an added advantage that is linked to your weakness in being a poor customer servant.

You can look in the mirror and tell if you are a customer servant or overhead by your answers to the following questions.

1. Are customers delighted to hear from you and often go out of their way to contact you? This question speaks to the relationships that you have established with your clients.
2. Do you provide work that can easily be done by someone else or a computer or answering service?
3. Do you have a personality that is warm and connects with people?
4. Are customers dissatisfied with your encounters to the extent they complain to management?
5. Have you gone out of your way to show a client how much you appreciate their business?
6. Are you providing a service that would be difficult to find elsewhere?
7. What makes you so special?
8. Is your level of follow-up a marvel to behold?
9. Do you often anticipate your client’s needs?
10. Do you make it a habit of going above and beyond your client’s expectations?

Overhead has always been considered as part of the cost of doing business. It was a given, an expectation and something that people felt was necessary. This was part of the justification for print and mortar businesses. Companies housed people in buildings to have face-to-face contact with customers. We have seen the reduction in brick and mortar businesses as Internet businesses continue to explode on the scene. However, there seems to be resurgence in companies that have direct contact with the consumer. They feel quality customer servants play a vital role in their marketing plans.

You may speak as a realist and say that in many situations you are both. You are a hybrid person with dual functionality. You are listed on the budget as overhead, but you provide a customer service job. I won’t argue against this claim, but will add that if you are practically listed as overhead, you must not function as overhead nor allow yourself to think of yourself as overhead. Your dominant function should be as a customer servant, admired by your clients and profitable to the organization.

A company you will rarely have a competitive advantage if their people, often their number one expense, are performing as overhead rather than customer servants. Where do you see yourself? Where does your customer see you? Are you performing in such a way that your competitors are inspired to go to work every day? Are they excelling because they know that you are there competition? Where do you stand? Are you a customer servant or overhead?

Reading to children can make you a better leader

November 8, 2013 ~ Orlando Ceaser

I was told of the benefits of reading to children. It would aid in their development, help them acquire a love for learning and strengthen the bond between parent and child. But I did not count on the collateral or ancillary advantages I would receive. Of course, I was excited and encouraged by the interaction and the way I was able to connect to my children. But, with each story, nursery rhyme or fable I began to associate their content with the people I managed in the workplace. Their content gave me new insights into executing my role as a leader.

When I returned to work I found that I began to incorporate some of the very language and concepts from the literature I read to my kids the night before. Aesop’s Fables were always good with life lessons. Androcles and the lion taught me the value of helping everyone no matter how small because you never knew when they could help you. The story was about a mouse who returned a favor by saving a lion that was caught in a hunter’s net. The Emperor’s new clothes by Hans Christian Andersen had many applications to corporate culture. The failure to speak to power brought on by fear and ego was a natural metaphor. The practice of using children literature to clarify leadership principles is widespread today with articles and books about the Goldilocks Leadership Style. There are books such as, The Oz Principle by Roger Connors, Tom Smith and Craig Hickman, and Our Emperor’s have no clothes by Alan Weiss and Emperor’s Clothes by Catherine Mc Guinness. They use the aforementioned classic as inspiration for their works.

Reading children stories make managerial principles fresh and exciting. Many people can relate to them and feel connected to the subject. It takes us back to our childhood and the rich and often forgotten lessons from our youth. I read the classic fable of the hare and the tortoise. I walked into work with a new perspective. The morale of the story is that “plodding wins the race,” emphasizing the value of persistence. But when I arrived at work, I placed a different spin on the classic story. I asked my managers, “Who would you rather be the hare or the tortoise?” After a light discussion, I announced that I would rather be a hare that did not sleep. In our fast paced world, a company could seldom afford to hire a large number of workers who always started and finished slowly. We needed people to get out of the starting blocks quickly, master the information around their jobs and get up the learning curve in record time. We needed speed merchants who were confident, with stamina and awareness of the danger of underestimating their competition and the needs of their customers.

Another principle that was reinforced was the idea of performing with a winning attitude, while may have involved faking it until making it was a reality. My daughter was nearly 3 years old and was at the swimming pool with my wife and her mother. She was reciting a book out loud. It was the book I read to her before bed. As she moved to the bottom of each page, she moved her eyes to the top of the next page or turned the page as appropriate. “The man was flabbergasted,” she said. A woman next to her was astonished by her apparent reading skills at such a young age. She did not realize that my daughter had merely memorized every word on every page in the book and turned the pages appropriately, on her way to learning how to read. As leaders we must sometimes show courage and strength in a positive outcome even when we are not 100% certain, until the result is achieved.

I found the following benefits from my bonding moments with my children that I used with my teams that had leadership implications.

1. I listened better because they gave me their undivided attention and asked questions. They wanted to know the why, the back story behind the story. This is similar to the teams we manage. People want to know the content and the context.
2. Children enjoy when you are enthusiastic when reading a story. I was animated and displayed passion in my delivery and interpretation of the story.
3. I had to adapt a reading style that brought each child into the moment. If one child was quiet and the other easily distracted, I had to individualize and customize my reading style, make stronger eye contact and gestures to ensure that both were engaged in the story.
4. I selected stories for them which were my favorites from childhood. This helped reinforce messages that I had forgotten. Some of the fairytales and nursery rhymes were originally written as political satire which helped explain the appeal to some adults. Looking for other ways to use the information helped broaden my perspective.
5. Reading taught me the value of play and including humor in my conversation and interactions with my children and my people.
6. The value of discipline and a set routine, along with the value of commitment to my promises by reading every night I was in town. If I was traveling out of town, I read to them over the telephone to keep my word. When there are challenges there are always ways to improvise to fulfill promises made on the important things in life.

We should look forward to reading to our children or to any children who could benefit from our time and attention. There are organizations such as Real Men Read which place adults in local schools to read to children. The men participating are receiving some of the same benefits I outlined above. The benefits are achieved whether you are reading to your children or any willing child sitting in front of you to hear your passionate delivery of a new book or a childhood classic

Additionally, we know that, “Children are born ready to learn and reading to them stimulates and satisfies their thirst for information. Children cultivate 85% of their intellect, personality and skills by age five. The first months and years of life set the stage for lifelong development,” according the National Research Council and Institute of Medicine, 2000. Reading to them at an early age is a tremendous advantage for them. However, the returns to the adults are exceptionally stimulating. When we think of the input into the creative process that is triggered when we read and visualize the images; the reinforcement of key values and the lessons to help illustrate leadership principles, reading to children should be a consistent and mandatory part of our lives.

Tie breakers – Beating the crowd in a photo finish

November 1, 2013 ~ Orlando Ceaser

Similarity is everywhere. Parity is another word used to describe sameness that exists among sports teams. A commodity is a perception by customers that there is little difference between the items portrayed. The common view is that all of the products under review or investigation are interchangeable and can be substituted for each other. When this occurs with your career, something must be done to give you an edge. A slight variation can be seen as an advantage. If candidates are seen as equal, something must be done to break the tie.

There are so many talented candidates applying for jobs and many have equivalent academic and professional skill sets and expertise. College admission officers receive applications from a large number of straight “A” students and others with high grade point averages. Employment offices receive resumes from people with indistinguishable backgrounds. You have to devise a strategy to stand out or “differentiate” yourself from the crowd. Some people have accomplished this in the form of a short term and long term strategy of more education. This can be achieved in the form of an advanced degree or certificate of specialization in an area of need. This can be in the form of skills and experience gained in volunteer activities on the job, in school or in your community.

Leaders are needed in great numbers. Great leadership is desperately needed. Individuals with the emotional and intellectual fortitude to inspire and lead others to complete projects, exceed sales goals and solve problems will find employment. People with the technical, social skills and emotional intelligence will always be in demand.

Old School relatives always spoke of the value of a strong work ethic. It meant working a job to the best of your ability. It meant pride in the quality of your effort. Sometimes it meant working long hours, where the pay was not worth it in the short term, but there were significant long term benefits. There were occasions when a low paying job was used as a stepping stone to a higher paying job.

What would you use as a tie breaker if you were making a decision between several comparable people? This thought process will help you imagine what the interviewer is going through. Examples of potential tie breakers may include the following.

• Unique or various experiences which sets you apart from others
• Interests, hobbies and attributes which could add to the skills of your team. What are your interests that grow you in other areas? Volunteer opportunities and hobbies in art and music can portray an interesting person. You can develop techniques of creativity which can apply to other areas of life when examined for other tangible benefits
• Sports can be a tie breaker if you reached a high level of competency and can demonstrate valuable skills acquired during your playing days. Leadership positions such as the captain of the team and how this enhanced your character.
Some people look for points of identification with the interviewer as a potential tie breaker. I worked for a manager who loved to play racquetball. In a competitive interview when all else was equal I could see him leaning toward the candidate who was an avid racquetball player.

• Working to pay for your college education. Dave was a manager who worked his way through college and paid for 100% of his education. He therefore, had a bias for anyone who demonstrated these attributes. In an interview if he discovered this information, he immediately connected with the candidate. This plays into the decision-making process. He would use this information to break a tie. Granted this information is often impossible to gather, but I want you to think about acquiring extracurricular activities and education which could prove instrumental in your career development. The more well rounded you are, the greater the possibility of breaking the tie with other candidates.

Tony Alessandra, PhD. said years ago that people should work on their breath and depth of knowledge. The depth of knowledge referred to the information in your chosen area of interest; the data, experiences and connections that formed your expertise in your area of specialization. Your breath of knowledge is all of the other things you know outside of your business, which make you well rounded and hopefully more interesting.

You don’t want to be among the less impressive resumes. But even if among the best you must have sufficient skills to set yourself apart from others. Your leadership, risk taking, charisma and communication skills and leadership practices may be exactly what the organization or institution is looking to bring on board. Your hunger, sense of urgency and a track record of achieving goals are attractive to potential employers.

People may overlook the value of communication skills in breaking a tie and distinguishing yourself from others. Many people use their communication skills to enhance their profile. Students and adults join Toastmasters and look for opportunities to make presentations in front of large groups. People take acting classes to improve their ability to communicate. Their involvement has little to do with pursuing an acting career, but everything to do with building their network and improving their skills to communicate with different people.

Your career plan should contain elements or characteristics to set you apart from others. Or you should look at your interests and skills and ask, “Who would be interested in this array of talent? Am I competitive enough? What is missing? What do I need to do short term and long term? If interviewing was compared to a horse race, there would be people scattered all over the track. However, many would cross the line in a photo finish. It is up to the interviewers to find tangible ways to separate the candidates with equivalent skills. They find a way to break the tie. Illustrating and demonstrating your diverse skills, talents, background and connections will hopefully break the tie in your favor.

High roads and burning bridges – Revenge is not an option

July 30, 2013 ~ Orlando Ceaser

One of the hardest words of advice to accept is to take the high road. Someone has wronged you, you are deeply upset, angry, yet someone tries to talk you out of revenge.” You don’t want to burn any bridges,” they also might add to their words of wisdom. You pause for a moment, take a deep breath and realize they are telling the truth. You remember people who sabotaged their own careers to get back at someone. One manager was relentless in his pursuit of a former employee whom he felt did not deserve her job. He stepped over the line in slandering her and was demoted.

Employees are sometimes convinced that the company made a mistake when they hired or promoted someone or when they acted unjustly against them. They wanted to force the company to admit their mistake. In reality, the organization rarely admits questionable decisions due to an error in judgment.
When a person is hired or promoted and you disagree with the decision, there is a strategy you should implement. Additionally, in most infractions on the job, revenge is not advisable. You must receive satisfaction in knowing that justice will prevail, even though you may not be the instrument of that justice. It is best to help the person succeed and recruit them as an advocate. This is otherwise known as, taking the high road.

Don’t pass up a golden opportunity to take the high road, which is often the only productive path available. The high road must be taken, not necessarily out of nobility, but as a strategic element in career survival and growth.

The high road has several advantages. By its very name and nature, it is elevated above the fray, transcending the nonsense and is moving in a positive direction. It has positive visibility and magnetically attracts people to you. When you take the high road there are people in your corner sympathetic to your position. They are your advocate’s. When someone is promoted over you, the high road is lined with people giving you words of encouragement.

If you choose an alternative route, such as driving of the person from your organization; when the person quits, they will confirm your role in undermining their success. This cannot be good for you. You have cost the company money, resources, time and reputation. This will work against your being promoted anytime in the near future. You have effectively elected to burn bridges. If you thought the person leaving the organization would work to your benefit, you are sadly mistaken. Your actions will expose you as not being a team player, petty, jealous and not worthy of a leadership position. Rarely does a person who orchestrated a mutiny or underground dissension get rewarded. That is one of the unwritten rules.

You will be further away from your job with a bad mark against your name. You would have succeeded in poisoning the minds of other employees, which is not the sign of someone considered as management or leadership material. Your worst case scenario is further complicated by resigning from the organization and launching a negative PR campaign. This version of burning bridges can also be, counterproductive. Whereas you may look like a martyr, you are once again viewed as petty, jealous and unworthy of a leadership position.

The road to leadership can be very complicated. There are events along the pathway which stimulate positive and negative emotions within you. Your instinct may say to the strike out against a person or institution for revenge, justice or personal satisfaction. However it is often prudent to suppress these emotions. When you are standing at a fork in the road and one of the branches is elevated and the other is the low road, choose wisely. We are in a world filled with connections and interdependence; burning a bridge may seem like a good idea in the moment, but you may ultimately want to go back down that path. The high road has been proven to be the most judicious route for maintaining your dignity and reaching your destiny.